Whisper of Smoke
by Outsiders Obsessor
Summary: Growing up in the shadow of your perfect sibling is extremely difficult for any child. But, for Loki, growing up in the shadow of the boy- now man- known as Thor crippled him beyond salvation, corrupting his heart and once pure soul. However, since he is not technically related to the morally upstanding Thor, Loki couldn't possibly be held to the same standards. Rated T for death.


**Whisper of Smoke**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any canon characters; they belong to Marvel and the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Also, this is a birthday present for my dear friend and fellow writer Rival Argentica who has shared my fangirl spirit since April of 2016. Rival Argentica, this is for you, girl! I'm sorry it's late, but I was busy with finishing up school and starting work at the dog daycare, as well as fostering our four new puppies for a local rescue! (Xena, Adonis, Bo, and Duke make fosters seven, eight, nine, and ten in only eight months of fostering!) I hope the subject matter and the main character make up for the lateness! Everyone, please enjoy! See the Author's Note for any further notes.**

* * *

Loki has always known he was different. Never in his seemingly immortal life does the God of Mischief and second Prince of Asgard ever remember feeling equal and at peace with his family. (Okay, so maybe he felt equal to Thor at the young, formative years when Loki was a mere babe or a troublesome toddler, but Loki knows he was not near as intelligent or self-conscious then.) In fact, the God of Mischief shudders whenever anyone actually brings up the years when he and Thor were children, because, honestly, he has made himself stronger and more indestructible since then. So, why can no one in the whole of Asgard move past this whole infatuation with a young Loki and Thor growing up as the crown princes, doted on with love and who were the best of brothers to one another? One of the main reasons Loki felt out of place amongst his family, even at the young age of ten came due to genetics, a lesson which Heimdall and many other intellectuals within the castle would teach Loki as one of his many lessons whereas Thor received personal lessons in battle from Odin and many other skilled warriors. Blonde hair ran rampant in the Asgardian Royal Family; Loki's raven black hair did not fit in with either Frigga's or Odin's, and the young prince always wondered how his hair could have come about when Heimdall told him black and brown hair were seemingly dominant alleles whereas blonde hair is almost always recessive. This being the case, with Frigga and Odin having blonde hair in their youth, Loki knew something was the matter, as he is the only one in the entire royal family to have black hair. However, there were many more aspects of his life that made Loki suspicious that he did not really belong into this family, no matter what his parents and brother seemed to say otherwise.

* * *

Magic seemed to always be yet another dividing factor between Loki and his family, as the God of Mischief seemed capable of wielding magical artifacts and crafting spells from quite a young age, often creating damage and mischief in his path. It can be noted that while Odin and Thor seemingly utilize magic, particularly when Thor calls upon thunder and lightning, their feats of strength and skill come from naturally granted talents and powers, not magic such as that which Loki practices. The castle never was quite equipped to handle a budding magic user and eager young sorcerer such as Loki, God of Mischief, and so, for one of Loki's birthdays, Frigga enlisted the aid of the best carpenters and architects in all the realms to help build her son the training grounds he needed to evolve and better his magic and skills as a sorcerer.

"Here is a safe place for you to practice your spells, Loki," Frigga gently spoke to her youngest son, hoisting him up on her hip in his extremely young days or gently taking him by the hand before depositing him into a soundproof, shatterproof room that held many one-way glass windows wherein Loki could not see anyone outside the room, but everyone could see Loki.

"Mother, would you like to see a new spell I have been working on?" Loki would excitedly ask, a large, proud smile on his face as his eyes would light up in the prospect of showing his mother what a wonderful magic wielder he was becoming.

"Loki, I would love to see…" Frigga would nearly always begin, but somehow, either Odin or Thor would miraculously- or purposely- would appear, leading the Queen of Asgard away from Loki, leaving the mother of the God of Thunder and the God of Mischief feeling as disappointed and heartbroken as the child she had to leave to his own devices, never really able to view any of his magic up close, save for when she was kept behind the one-way glass outside the room, though Loki never knew of her presence outside.

Odin did not trust the type of magic Loki was learning to wield, often calling it the magic of the Jotuns behind everyone's back and out of earshot of all, including Frigga, as the Queen did not like to hear such talk about her second son, as she loved him no less than she loved Thor. It is said that a mother never picks favorites amongst her children, but to the naked eye of anyone in Asgard, it could be suspected and suggested that Queen Frigga doted more on and considered Loki to be more of her favorite, as Thor typically took more to pleasing Odin. This is not meant to say that Frigga loved Thor any less, as the Queen loved her little blonde-haired, blue-eyed son from the moment he was born so many years ago. However, as far as the children were concerned, Loki appeared to be more of a Mommy's boy whereas Thor, like most princes were expected, heavily followed in the footsteps of his father, Odin Allfather. As such, the terrible magic, as Odin liked to call it, that Loki possessed cleaved a clear line between Loki and the rest of his Asgardian family and made the second prince in line for the throne feel sub-standard at best and downright disrespected and neglected at worst.

* * *

The mental scars of inadequacy began to fester and become more numerous once Loki and Thor began to reach adolescence. As such, Thor grew ever so muscular and revered among all of the Asgardian people for his valor and strength in battle in addition to being able to revel in wine as well as other alcoholic offerings for days, whereas Loki stayed lithe, trained primarily in magic and incantations, and often retired into his chambers early into a revel, not engaging in the drunken revelry Thor and the other warriors were so found of partaking in. It was in these moments when Loki began to feel considerably less of a Prince of Asgard and beloved son of Odin and Frigga, as no one typically noticed or cared to come and determine the cause of Loki's absence. He could have been silently killed by invaders or spies within the castle, and no one would have even known until _after_ the festival of triumph ended, and that could sometimes last for days or even, on occasion, _weeks_ on end. Well, Loki must change his statement. Sif nearly _always_ came to check on him and offer a few words of encouragement or a slight smile to the God of Mischief. (Such a good-natured relationship between Loki and Lady Sif persisted in the time in which Loki had not yet betrayed Thor and caused the whole of Asgard to despise him even more than they seemed to when he was merely the adopted Jotun brother of Thor.) Memories with Sif were often Loki's favorite, but now they have been pushed to the back of his mind; now the peripheral memories are those of the happy days spent with Sif and Thor whereas the primary memories seared in Loki's brain involved the reasons for his blinding hot rage, temper, and overall hatred for the man he used to so fondly call brother: Thor, God of Thunder. Now neither Sif nor Thor can ever look at Loki in the same light, seeing only the betrayal of when Loki stabbed Thor in the back literally and metaphorically throughout the adventures across the realms, including the journey to Midgard in which Thor met the indescribably beautiful and equally as fierce and intelligent Jane Foster, the scientist stationed in New Mexico who found Thor in the first place. Loki cannot help but wonder how their paths could have remained one and the same instead of diverging into that of the righteous and do-no-wrong Thor and the path regarded as untrustworthy and dark, as pursued by the God of Mischief himself. When the raven-haired mischief maker comes back and thinks on the subject, he realizes the blame should come back and fall on Odin, as the Allfather never told Loki about his true parentage and adopted legacy. He at least deserved to know of his Frost Giant origins and familial relations! Did he not? As he sits in his prison cell in Asgard, Loki feels the start of a burning, fierce fire spell forming in his hands, not burning his skin, but warming it fiercely, combating against the nearly ever-present chill that tainted his bones and was notable in the coldness that permeated his skin whenever anyone would happen to brush a hand against Loki's hand or arm in passing. Sif remarked more often than not in the times when Loki and Thor truly regarded themselves as brothers how freezing Loki's skin always was in comparison to Thor's when they would all train in battle together or when Sif would, occasionally, let Loki lead her to a secret spot on Asgard that he knew the first female officer in the Asgardian army would truly love to spend her little free time in. In hindsight, Loki realizes that the icy feeling of his Frost Giant blood should have given away his true parentage and proven his adopted nature. Oh, how naïve the second prince of Asgard believes himself to be, not realizing all of the signs that led up to the entire meltdown that resulted in his fight with Odin over the reasons why the King of Asgard adopted Loki in the first place.

* * *

Growing up in the shadow of your perfect sibling is extremely difficult for any child. But, for Loki, growing up in the shadow of the boy- now man- known as Thor crippled him beyond salvation, corrupting his heart and once pure soul. However, since he is not technically related to the morally upstanding Thor, Loki couldn't possibly be held to the same standards as the heir to the Asgardian throne must exhibit. At least, that is what Loki chooses to tell himself in regards to what are now called his despicable actions he has taken against Thor and the whole of Asgard. Others refer to Loki's plan to take over Midgard as evil and malicious in intent with the desire to be King since Thor would inherit Asgard. Loki views his attempt to rule Midgard differently, as the God of Mischief considers himself to be burdened with glorious purpose, though no one would ever believe the raven-haired Prince. No one ever truly believed Loki, even in his formative years, as he has always been known for playing tricks and getting into trouble with Odin for all of the spells and disguises he would use to try and trick Thor. (The most notable offense that made the people of Asgard and the other realms wholly distrust Loki is a certain event in which Loki turned into a snake and then stabbed Thor when both boys were around eight years old.) Therefore, while Loki saw what he believed as his destiny and glorious purpose to bring rule to all nine realms, everyone else in the entirety of the realms saw Loki as nothing more than an insane, troubled God of Mischief who sought to become a tyrant King of all realms, effectively slandering and collapsing the Asgardian Royal Family in dignity as well as both honor and respect alike. And, thus, Loki's thoughts regarding his adoptive family began to change, and with the new train of thoughts came the distinct and malicious intent to wipe Thor off of the face all planets within the nine realms; even Odin would not be able to quench the fire of his youngest son's desire for revenge.

* * *

It would never _truly_ matter how far away Loki would stray from Thor.

It would never _truly_ matter if he hurt the one he called brother all those years ago.

It would never _truly_ matter if he destroyed the relationship he had with the blonde-haired God of Thunder Loki once willingly called brother all those years ago,

Because, truly, Loki and Thor, the God of Mischief and the God of Thunder were never brothers in the first place.

They simply _acted_ like brothers.

And what good actors both men were, even at the tender, innocent years when the boys were under ten years old.

They were _acting_ like brothers.

They never _were_ brothers/

Loki uses this argument to convince himself he is neither shaming nor betraying the Asgardian Royal Family, because he never truly belonged to begin with. He never truly was a member of their family.

It would never matter how much harm he wrought on Thor, because they _weren't_ brothers.

End of story.

Case closed.

And, Loki, even on his worst nights filled with the desire to drown his sorrows away or dominate the world twice over before sunrise, can never convince himself to believe his own web of lies.

* * *

He could never convince himself that Thor _isn't_ his brother, no matter the lies he may tell to shield his own heart from the separation he feels from merely hearing the word "adopted" slip from anyone's lips, detaching his soul farther away from a man known to most as the God of Thunder, but known to Loki as the dearest, bravest, and best brother anyone could ever ask for.

"We _are not_ brothers," Loki practically spits in Thor's face as they battle in New York when the Avengers try to stop the God of Mischief from attempting to take over the worlds on their entirety. "We _never_ were," he sneers, looking down on the blonde-haired blue-eyed God of Thunder and for once in Loki's thousands of years of life, he feels superior to Thor.

As the brothers share punches and insults on the rooves of New York, Loki slowly begins to feel the whisper of smoke that is Thor's shadow of honor and all the makings of a perfect son disappear from over him. For once, the God of Mischief feels as if he will finally usher the nine realms into the age of Loki, second Prince of Asgard, and all those who had wronged him in the past would feel his unceasing wrath.

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 **Author's Note: Okay, everyone! There it is! My first ever contribution to the** ** _Marvel_** **fandoms, and also the first** ** _Thor_** **FanFic I have ever written! I just got into watching superhero movies within the past year, and I can say that until the start of this month, the only Marvel movies I had seen were the two Guardians of the Galaxy films. But, let me just say since then I have watched most of the Marvel films, albeit somewhat out of order, because my free on-demand did not have all the films, but my uncle that lives in a different state than me brought some of the ones on DVD up to me to watch after I graduated. Rival Argentica, this is dedicated to you for your seventeenth birthday, and I apologize that this is posted closer to my eighteenth birthday than it is your birthday! As I mentioned, work, fostering, and graduating a few weeks ago as well as International Baccalaureate exams for three weeks has completely drained me lately. I've been working on this one-shot in bits and pieces, and I would eagerly appreciate some feedback from all of you! (I am open to kind, constructive criticism, but I ask that you please do not flame this story. I tried my hardest to write a believable story from Loki's point of view for Rival Argentica, because her favorite character in the Marvel universe and one of her favorite "villains" of all time is Loki.) Rival Argentica, I hope I did your God of Mischief justice! Please enjoy your birthday present from me! Hope everyone enjoyed; until next time, dear readers! Have a nice day, afternoon, or night!**


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